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How many toilet rolls do you need to buy or rent in the UK property market?

It’s June 2020, confidence in the UK property market remains as buyers, sellers, tenants and landlords all continue to transact via online platforms. Working from home is now the norm, however, the only currency being accepted is loo rolls. 

We’ve translated previous property prices based on archaic pounds and pence into the new world currency so whether you’re buying or renting, you can stockpile your bog roll until such a time you can climb the ladder or secure your rental home.

Buying

With the average toilet roll costing 48p, homebuyers require 485,004 rolls of soft quilted goodness to afford the average UK house, however, to place a ten percent deposit requires just 48,500. 

In London however, homebuyers require a staggering 999,839 loo rolls to buy outright or 99,984 to place a 10% mortgage deposit. 

This cost is, of course, at its highest in Kensington and Chelsea where only premium brand loo roll is accepted and prospective buyers need to fork out over 2.6m of them to buy upfront, or 267,543 if they want to place a deposit. 

The best value bog roll buy is in Burnley with just 18,961 required to place a deposit on a home. 

Renting

Across the UK, the average monthly rent of £686 per month now means tenants require 1,417 rolls of toilet paper in order to secure a rental property. This climbs to 3,506 rolls in London – a huge 6,308 rolls a month in Kensington and Chelsea.

The North East is the most affordable region with 1,101 rolls required per month while Blaenau Gwent the most affordable area, with tenants requiring 849 rolls per month in rent. 

Thankfully, the Government has introduced measures to ensure that everyone living across the UK property market is protected financially for the short to mid-term at least, whether they be tenants, landlords or homeowners. This will certainly come as a relief to many and should prevent the market from slipping into a dystopian future where only loo roll holds any value when transacting. 

However, for those members of society that felt it necessary to stockpile half of their town or city’s loo roll with no regard for their neighbours, we thought we would highlight how much they would need to buy or rent a property. Hopefully they’re sitting in front of their 40 rolls feeling a bit silly right now and will refrain from repeating the act.

Number of toilet rolls vs house price and rent – Nations and regions
Location Average house price Average monthly rent (2019) Loo rolls needed to buy outright Loo rolls needed for 10% deposit Loo rolls needed for a month’s rent
England £251,711 £852 520,065 52,006 1,760
Wales £165,735 £515 342,428 34,243 1,064
Scotland £151,603 £748 313,230 31,323 1,546
Northern Ireland £140,190 £627 289,649 28,965 1,295
United Kingdom £234,742 £686 485,004 48,500 1,417
East Midlands £197,048 £628 407,124 40,712 1,298
East of England £297,714 £869 615,112 61,511 1,795
London £483,922 £1,697 999,839 99,984 3,506
North East £130,977 £533 270,613 27,061 1,101
North West £166,003 £621 342,981 34,298 1,283
South East £325,050 £998 671,590 67,159 2,062
South West £262,286 £816 541,912 54,191 1,686
West Midlands £201,343 £662 415,997 41,600 1,368
Yorkshire and The Humber £168,382 £617 347,896 34,790 1,275
Ranking – by most toilet rolls to buy
Location Average house price Loo rolls needed to buy outright Loo rolls needed for 10% deposit
Kensington And Chelsea £1,294,907 2,675,428 267,543
City of Westminster £984,511 2,034,113 203,411
Camden £779,779 1,611,113 161,111
City of London £738,263 1,525,337 152,534
Hammersmith and Fulham £699,566 1,445,385 144,539
Richmond upon Thames £647,672 1,338,165 133,816
Islington £629,529 1,300,680 130,068
South Bucks £613,401 1,267,358 126,736
Wandsworth £603,883 1,247,692 124,769
Elmbridge £596,320 1,232,067 123,207
Haringey £562,296 1,161,769 116,177
Hackney £556,223 1,149,222 114,922
Chiltern £543,338 1,122,599 112,260
St Albans £527,035 1,088,916 108,892
Lambeth £519,275 1,072,882 107,288
Ranking – by least toilet rolls to buy
Location Average house price Loo rolls needed to buy outright Loo rolls needed for 10% deposit
Burnley £91,773 189,615 18,961
East Ayrshire £94,249 194,729 19,473
Hyndburn £101,050 208,781 20,878
Blaenau Gwent £101,642 210,005 21,000
Inverclyde £102,979 212,767 21,277
County Durham £103,668 214,190 21,419
North Ayrshire £104,211 215,311 21,531
Pendle £106,002 219,012 21,901
West Dunbartonshire £107,029 221,134 22,113
Blackpool £108,185 223,522 22,352
North Lanarkshire £111,559 230,493 23,049
Middlesbrough £112,257 231,936 23,194
Hartlepool £112,409 232,250 23,225
City of Kingston upon Hull £112,904 233,272 23,327
Stoke-on-Trent £114,301 236,158 23,616
Ranking – by most toilet rolls to rent
Location Average monthly rent Loo rolls needed for a month’s rent
Kensington And Chelsea £3,053 6,308
City of Westminster £3,018 6,236
Camden £2,536 5,240
City of London £2,446 5,054
Hammersmith and Fulham £2,117 4,374
Islington £1,914 3,955
Wandsworth £1,883 3,890
Richmond upon Thames £1,857 3,837
Hackney £1,834 3,789
Tower Hamlets £1,803 3,725
Elmbridge £1,784 3,686
Lambeth £1,754 3,624
Southwark £1,654 3,417
Haringey £1,558 3,219
Brent £1,535 3,171
Ranking – by least toilet rolls to rent
Location Average monthly rent Loo rolls needed for a month’s rent
Blaenau Gwent £411 849
Rhondda Cynon Taf £419 865
City of Kingston upon Hull £437 903
Carmarthenshire £458 945
Powys £462 954
Burnley £462 955
Middlesbrough £469 969
Neath Port Talbot £469 969
North East Lincolnshire £470 971
Pembrokeshire £471 972
Merthyr Tydfil £472 975
Hyndburn £476 983
Hartlepool £479 990
North Lincolnshire £481 994
Fermanagh and Omagh £482 996
Sources:
Average house price Gov.uk
Average rents
Eng ONS
Scot Gov.scot
Wal Gov.wales
NI Nihe.gov

Average toilet roll cost of 0.48p taken from across Asda, Tesco, Sainsburys and Amazon.

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